PENNSYLVANIA'S #1 WEEKLY NEWSPAPER • locally owned since 1854

What is the education cost for Middletown students? Wow!: Ed O'Connor

Posted 2/26/20

Depending on when you read this, there will only be about 300 days until Christmas. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting my Christmas card list updated. I’m in a quandary as …

This item is available in full to subscribers.

Please log in to continue

Log in

What is the education cost for Middletown students? Wow!: Ed O'Connor


Depending on when you read this, there will only be about 300 days until Christmas. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting my Christmas card list updated. I’m in a quandary as whether to send cards to all the members of my fan club.

I will probably have to cut back this year. I budgeted $1.50 for postage. It costs 90 cents to send one card to the States. I hope the other member understands.

It’s been rather quiet here since the beginning of the year. New Year’s Day is a bigger holiday in Moldova than Christmas. Well, actually, two Christmas days and two New Year days are celebrated — the traditional days and the Orthodox holidays, which are each two weeks later.

However, things are starting to get back to normal as the Moldavian national pastime resumes — politicians trying to see who can be the most crooked ... and the Bureau of Anti-Corruption trying to catch them.

And, speaking of national pastimes, the Democratic “Theater of Hate” continues. It’s like watching the movie “Groundhog Day.” Just amazing. I haven’t seen Democrats this unhinged since Abraham Lincoln and the Republicans freed the Democrats’ slaves.

I find it interesting that what the Democrats accuse the Republicans of doing is what the Democrats are doing.

As Joseph Stalin’s henchman Lavrentiy Beria, the head of the Soviet secret police, once stated: “Give me the man and I will give you the crime.” Sounds like the four-year Democrat impeachment credo.

Moving again

The biggest happening for us has been an apartment move. After so much noise from the apartment above us for seven months, it was time for new digs. We had the notion that there was some kind of illegal activity being perpetrated.

We spoke to a neighbor about this and were told not to pursue it.

It was the sound of something sliding across the floor, such as furniture or boxes being moved ... for eight hours every night? In a one-bedroom apartment? More than a little suspicious.

And we wanted a larger place. I realized just how small the apartment was when I dropped my handkerchief on the floor and it looked like we had wall-to-wall carpet installed. Plus, we were able to reduce the rent by $80 monthly.

The location is good. There are four malls within four blocks of where we now live and seven within walking distance, along with five supermarkets and the city’s biggest outdoor market. We can walk to all the theaters.

Fourteen travel/tourist agencies are located in a four-block area. Across the street is a “gentleman’s club.”

Well, if it continues, we will be apartment hunting again. “What’s ‘it’, Ed?” The moron in the next apartment has a Siberian Husky in her third-floor, one-bedroom apartment. It started barking and howling all day long.

Now get this ... when we told people about the problem we had with a dog making noise next door, their response was, “Oh, the poor dog.” THE POOR DOG? Right, poor Phydeaux. What about us having to listen to a yelping cur for hours?

One “intelligent” person suggested that we let the “Hound of the Baskervilles” stay in our apartment during the day.

Why do these people think that they exclusively have the cutest, sweetest, most intelligent, most loving, cleverest, best behaved, most precious, funniest, gentlest, most obedient, most playful fleabag on the face of the earth? Beats me.

Give me a cat any day!

Cost of learning

Wow! Little Ralphie, you said that it costs $55 million to operate the Middletown Area School District? And a $6 million shortfall is the “worst-case scenario”? Wow! But Little Ralphie, what’s the “best-case scenario”?

With the school district population of a little more than 18,000 residents, that is approximately $3,050 for every person. Again, wow!

So, with a budget of $55 million and a student population of about 2,300, that is $23,504 per student. Another wow!

On Eddy O’s Wow! Scale, that gets a score of 5 out of 5.

About education ...

“I was educated once — it took me years to get over it.” — Mark Twain

“I never let school interfere with my education.” — Mark Twain

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” — John Dryden

“Intelligence appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without education. Education enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence.” — Albert E. Wiggam

Weather in Moldova

I have been asked about the weather here in Chisinau, Moldova.

I’ll start with a quick refresher for those of you who slept through geography class. Latitude is measured in degrees from the equator, north and south.

Chisinau is located at 46 degrees north latitude and Middletown at 40 degrees. So, for those who snoozed in math class, that is a 6-degree difference between the two cities.

Since one degree of latitude equals 69.2 miles, Chisinau is located 415.2 miles farther north than Middletown. But even with this difference, the weather is relatively the same as yours.

Have your eyes glazed over yet?

You would think it should be colder here. Must be that pesky global warming.

Remember that the global warming cult will tell you: Cold weather means global warming, hot weather means global warming, more hurricanes means global warming, fewer hurricanes means global warming, tornadoes mean global warming, no tornadoes means global warming, floods mean global warming, droughts mean global warming, bad weather means global warming, good weather means global warming and early bird migration means global warming. Disease outbreaks, crop failures, snowstorms and don’t forget the polar bears ... yep, global warming. They’ll say anything to advance their cult, and even use “educated” children to do so.

Oops, how dare I? It is now “climate change” and not “global warming.”

Why is it that so called “climate change” never kills climate-change liberals? When is the last time you saw a headline, “Hundreds of climate-change liberals found dead hugging polar bears”? Me neither, but there is always hope.

And, yes, my name is really ED ... not to be confused with a certain kind of dysfunction that some men get.

Until next time, I remain warmly yours ... Eddy O

Ed O’Connor, a former resident of Middletown and Lower Swatara Township, is an expatriate living in Chisinau, Moldova.